Today’s global economic crisis has affected everybody in some capacity and for some it has cost them their jobs.  The October employment statistics from US Bureau of Labor reported unemployment rates at 6.5% that equates to 10 Million Americans on the unemployment rolls, an increase of over 600,000 from the previous month. The total number of unemployed is the largest since March 1994.  With all these sobering statistics this is a topic that may be of value to our readers.  Therefore this is the first in a series of articles geared towards helping you get through this crisis. 

In this article I hope to help you get started on the path to your next job by helping you recognize and understand the emotions you are going through.  In future articles I will start developing a personal plan to recovery, examine career alternatives, and explore aspects of finding that next job, but for right now let’s deal with the mental turmoil of what you’re going through.

So you’ve just been let go, now what?

Maybe you had an idea it was coming or maybe it caught you totally off guard (“The guy down the hall for sure, but never me.  They could not afford to let ME go!”).  However it went down, you are likely to go through a rollercoaster of emotions and confusion.

The most important thing to take away here is that there is no shame in receiving that pink slip.  Corporate America has drastically changed over the last decade and a half.  We’re no longer a family with our employer. Instead we’re all just faceless corporate ID numbers today.  When was the last company picnic you attended?  Was your spouse or date allowed to accompany you to last year’s holiday party?  Pink slips are handed out across divisions, groups and by position.  It is very rare that they are personal.  Getting past the perception it was personal goes a long way towards your healing and starts you moving forward.

Emotional Stages

Let’s explore the emotional rollercoaster that you’re going through.  If you can recognize the emotions and the stages they represent, then hopefully you can navigate through it more quickly while minimizing the pain. 

When faced with any life-changing event (e.g. divorce, death of loved one, loss of home, or loss of job) our foundation is rocked sending us on a difficult emotional ride. Although job loss is considered one of the biggies, it isn’t as severe as dealing with the emotions of terminal illness and death as described in the Kubler-Ross Model.  From an analytical point of view the emotional stages of Job Loss extend beyond the Kubler-Ross Model and into positive emotions as we start working on our future. In this article we are only focusing on the emotional strains caused by job loss.

Humans tend to move between three emotional states: reliving the past, confusion in the present and anticipation of tomorrow. 

Living in Yesterday

In the Past state you feel the negative emotions of anger, denial and sadness.  You tend to dwell on what happened, what you might have done differently to prevent it and sometimes even believing that it will all be magically undone and you’ll be called back to your job any day now.   It is hard to leave this stage and start the transition until you accept your situation, leaving the past in the past by putting aside all those negative feelings.

For those who knew the pink slip was on its way, you likely already went through this stage when you first got the hint you were on the short list and are hopefully now well on your way to transitioning to later stages.  But for some it doesn’t sink in until you get the actual paper confirming what you already knew and therefore still have some more time here as you progress towards acceptance.  For those who had no idea the time in this stage is longer as you navigate through all those negative emotions.

The important thing to take from here is Acceptance.  Once you are able to accept your situation you can begin to heal and move forward.

Anticipating Tomorrow

At the other extreme of the past stage is the future stage where you are upbeat, focused, and optimistic. You look forward to what tomorrow will bring.   You might not feel all these emotions initially but the further into this stage you go the more positive you begin to feel.  The entry criteria to this stage are focus and getting goal oriented.

This is not to say that this stage is all joy and bliss.  There will be times of anxiety waiting for the phone to ring for that interview or opening up your email in the morning hoping that job you applied to has finally replied.  And then there are the worries of managing your dwindling finances without knowing how or when the money will start coming in again.  These anxieties will happen, however the difference between now and previous stages is the underlying positive feelings within you. You’re looking forward to tomorrow and the excitement of what awaits you.  There is focus in your life.

Stuck In Between

In between the past and the future stages is generally confusion.  Let’s call this the present state.  You’ve let go of the past but haven’t started really focusing on tomorrow yet.  You’re just kind of stuck in the middle.  For many a lot of time is spent here.  At this point you have learned to accept your loss and have let go of any anger or ill will you might have had.  You know you need to move on but you just can’t seem to get started.  Whether it is doubt, lack of confidence, being out of practice with job search or undecided on what career is next, but whatever reason, you just can’t seem to get going. 

Being unsure what to do next or even how to go about deciding what to do next gets humans very stuck.  We tend to have unclear goals other than “I need a job”.  We feel a bit scattered brain and possibly a bit of anxiety over what lies ahead for us. 

To move on from this stage you need to start gaining some focus.

Transitioning Through the Stages

Most people tend to move back and forth between the 3 stages, especially between the adjacent stages (past & present or present & future).  Be assured that there will be days when you go to sleep excited and ready for the future only to wake up the next morning feeling like you’ve taken two very big steps backward to those very early destructive feelings of the past.  These fallbacks tend to be brief and you will get yourself back on track much faster than your previous stay in the earlier stages.

If you find that you can’t seem to get out of that negative past state of mind or feel endlessly lost in the present state of confusion, or maybe you think you’re ok but your friends and family are hinting to you otherwise, then reach out and seek some help.  There are lots of professional services for career and grief counseling.  Use your favorite search engine, you will find lots of help out there and some of it free through local government, religious organizations and other non-profit groups.   Also try reaching out to friends that have gone or are going through the same experience.  Ask them “How did you get started?  How did you keep yourself busy?  How did you get your Mojo back?”  Talk to people, you’d be surprised how much people want to help you and how much good advice they have to offer.

Homework

To help you get through the emotional stages you have a homework assignment.  I can hear you yelling “Homework?  You’ve got to be kidding, I need a job, not homework!”  We’ll start working on the job in the next article, but for now you need some things to do to help you through the emotional rollercoaster and get you in the right frame of mind to reestablish your career. 

You need some personal non-career goals to get you going.  Even small personal achievements will promote positive thinking, helping get you in the right state of mind to find that next career and job.  Besides, you might never ever have so much free time again.  Take advantage of it. 

It’s time to pick up that musical instrument again, take up that foreign language you always wanted to learn, help coach your child’s soccer team that you just never could find the time to do, DIY around the house. You know what is on that “wish I had time to…” list.  Well it’s time to start checking off some items on that list.  You are going to find checking those items off the list rewarding in more ways than just getting them done.

Also add some regular physical activity to your routine.  If you’re not the athletic type or exercise is a four-letter word to you, well then start with simple walks around the neighborhood or the local shopping mall.  Whatever your current exercise regimen is, it is time to try and up it just a little.  If you’re unsure about your health then see your physician to help build an appropriate exercise plan for you.  Feeling better physically will go a very long way towards a brighter mental outlook.  And who knows, maybe this will be the start of a new buff you.

Another thing to do is de-clutter.  Clutter around you only promotes feelings of disorganization and confusion.  You will be very surprised how cleaning out the closets, straightening out the garage, throwing away the unneeded junk in your basement, reorganize your dresser drawers, all helps you feel more organized, goal driven and thereby giving you some focus and feelings of accomplishment. Try it, it does really help and it is rewarding too. You have the time.

In Summary

To move forward you have to remove the personal feelings around your job loss.  Once you’re over that hump and all the negativity it promotes then you can more easily start moving forward.  To help navigate the emotional stages reach out to friends and family that have gone or are going through similar experiences, and if necessary seek professional help.  Finally in order to help you feel more positive about yourself and to start building some focus in your life you’re going to start checking off those items on your “Wish I had Time to…” list. 

While you’re working on these items I’ll be readying the next article on planning your next career where we’ll talk budget, career options and planning guidelines.  Until then help out at your kid’s soccer team, clean out your closet and take that old guitar out of the closet – dust off those rusty strings one more time and make them shine.